Fear Of Missing Out

Fear of missing out (F.O.M.O.) is real, but it doesn’t have to dominate us. Although my no game is stronger in my 30s, unfortunately fomo doesn’t just completely go away as you get older. I am at a place in my life right now though, where I’m trying to kick fear of any kind to the curb.

I was listening to a podcast a couple of years ago, and one of the golden nuggets I got from that episode was the idea of asking yourself questions before you commit to a project, attend an event, etc. For example, before I commit to a brand partnership, I might ask myself is this brand/product aligned with the lifestyle content focus of my brand and one I can strongly recommend to the glow getter gang? Is the partnership in sync with my content and financial/marketing goals for the quarter? Similarly, before working with a new client for Sensational Soirees, I might ask myself does the prospect’s event and budget provide opportunities for our team to be creative because innovation is important to us. Another question I might ask myself is did the client and I vibe during the consultation because working with people who get me and vice versa is paramount. If the answer is no to any of the above, then issa no for me.

These questions and checks and balance practices are critical to safeguard self care, family time, and rest, too. Before I commit to anything, I check my calendar first. I find myself mentally saying, “do I have the mental capacity for this”. This is an important question for me because I balance a lot between business and family, so some days really assessing if I can even think about 1 more thing is real.

This logic of asking ourselves questions before committing is helpful in assessing if you’re wanting to do something because of genuine interest or need, or the opposite — fear of missing out. I applied this logic to a particular situation a year or so ago when I was considering attending an event out of state. I realized that while the event was something I genuinely wanted to support, there was also a part of me pushing me to go because I didn’t want to miss out. Once I looked at the bigger picture, I realized my desire to go would ultimately conflict with some other personal and financial plans that I already had for that quarter, and truthfully if I wasn’t invited by a friend (although I had already heard about the event), I likely would not have went. 

I love supporting and celebrating others, which is why I have to be really careful about saying yes — even to good stuff. You can’t do everything. Yes, social media will make it seem like we all are doing everything (even in a pandemic), but listen, the way overwhelm can set in, I have to be more selective with my yeses. 

Fear of missing out has even shown up in my social media usage. I’ve been guilty of not taking social media breaks or scrolling longer than I should for fear of missing out on what’s going on or an opportunity. Sure as a content creator, social media consistency is valuable and what I create matters. However, balance with anything is important, so going down a rabbit hole on Instagram gets me nowhere. I try to be intentional about showing up on social and adding value and engagement while I’m there, but also being intentional with my time, so giving myself a time limit, so that I continue to normalize putting my phone down, despite living in this digital world. I no longer have to use the time limit feature on iPhone, but I highly recommend it to anyone who may need some extra help in this area.

Another form of fear of missing out that I’ve dealt with is fear of missing out on my dreams. I have some dreams that are near and dear to my heart, and sometimes I have a fear of them not ultimately being realized. I will dig into this more in a future post, and the mindset work I’m doing. In the meantime, one tip I want to share for anyone else that focuses a lot on the future is to make conscious efforts to be in the present moment. I think building our future dreams is very important and requires daily/weekly effort; however, each moment and phase of life is beautiful and should be savored. Whenever I feel that fear creep in, I speak affirmations over myself like “What is for me will not miss me. The present moment matters. It’s ok to rest. My dreams are and will come true. Be anxious for nothing.”

Moral of the post: 1) You can do a lot, but you can’t do it all. This is something I try to preach to myself because I’ve been guilty of doing all the things. 2) Let’s make our yeses count, by only signing on for things we really want to do, when it’s right to do them, and not out of fear of missing out. 3) Affirm yourself and be intentional as you fight fear of any kind.

Ok y’all, let’s chat...who else still deals with fear of missing out from time to time. How do you assess and handle it?

Keep going, growing and glowing!

Xo,

Shalyce