Happy Monday Glow Getters! How was your weekend? I had an amazing weekend celebrating my husband’s birthday, cultivating self care and enjoying quality time with family.

As many of us are kicking off another week of working while running Camp Quarantine, I wanted to touch on a topic that generally relates to business, but can also relate to other areas of our personal life. The term under promise and over deliver is meant to help us set expectations and boundaries, while still fulfilling a need or role at the top of our game. However realistically, we all have been guilty of the opposite more than once before — over promising and under delivering. For those like me who value being a woman of your word, being in this place feels awful. In business, I pride myself on having great work ethic, sticking to work deadlines, and providing exceptional service and the promised deliverables. Likewise, in my personal life, I never want to promise my children or husband something and then not come through. Although I don’t struggle with perfectionism, I do not enjoy missing the mark when it comes to work, my business and my family. Am I alone?

I remember there was a time something was due for my job. I was the sole person performing a 2 person job that I honestly didn’t feel qualified for and it became extremely challenging keeping up with the work demand. Needless to say the camel’s back broke. I had deliverables due and simply could not deliver all of them at once. I had to do something I rarely like being in the position of having to do, and that’s telling a colleague I need more time. Well, I did and it actually went over smoothly. I learned a lot of things from that experience that I’m sharing today:

Give yourself grace and expect others to as well, especially when you are not an abuser of grace.

There have been times when I’ve assumed the worst. I assumed a client would complain if I needed an extra day to provide a deliverable, or that a friend would be upset if I had to reschedule a meet up. We have to understand that everyone else is human just like us. More often than not, people will actually understand IF you generally honor your word or commitments. Now, if you’re always flaky or expect more from others than you are willing to give, that’s another story. But for those of us who typically come through, don’t beat yourself up when you can’t or need to come up with a plan B.

Push back or make adjustments when the responsibility is unmanageable.

No job or responsibility is worth mounds of stress and potential health risk. Period! Trying to produce beyond on our limits is not good for our mental or physical health. When you need help, ask for it. If you’re working so much that you don’t have time for rest, outsource and make whatever changes you know you need to. If others are not pulling their weight, push back! Just because in someone’s eyes or maybe even your own that you can do it all, doesn’t mean that you have, too.

Under Promise and Over Deliver.

You can’t always be the superstar when you have a lot on your plate. Set realistic and fair parameters to avoid stress for you and disappointment for others. Then when you can, show up even more than expected. I can’t stress to set realistic parameters enough because I am at times guilty of this. You know how it goes — thinking you can knock out something in a day, but honestly it needs a 48 - 72 hour turnaround time. Before you commit to anything, think about it and be real with yourself and your clients, family, etc.

With my children, I try to be as vague as possible when it comes to setting a time for doing something they want spontaneously. If I can’t guarantee that we can get ice cream at 3pm, I’ll respond with a “we’ll get it later today or let me finish up work and then I can decide if we can go”. This is so important at times because I don’t want to be the mom who always says I’m going to do something and then don’t. By not guaranteeing a specific up front, this gives me wiggle room to still make it happen, but without pressure.

You can’t be 9-1-1 for everyone’s emergency.

I am not a paramedic. You probably aren’t either. But even if you are, even paramedics have days off and they work with a team. In order to avoid burn out and stress, you have to determine what you are called to do and who you are called to serve, rather than just doing what you think you can or should do. When you make yourself available to be everyone and every things savior, the tables will turn and you will be the one who ends up needing saving. You can do a lot, but you can not do it all.

Speak up when others need to handle something instead of you. If I’m working with a client and they have a request that’s out of the scope of our agreement, instead of just doing it to be nice, it’s important for me to redirect that work back to them or provide a recommendation for a vendor who can fulfill that element for the event. Also at home, mommy can you is the most popular phrase of all lol. While I’m honored and proud to raise and help my children, it’s important that they learn how to manage some of their own tasks and problems. If they spill their milk, sure I could wipe it up for them, but 9 year old has 2 hands too, and can wipe up his own milk, too. The point is to do what you feel you should, not everything.

Alright folks, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. I hope these tips that I’m applying myself help you in balancing commitments and responsibilities.

Have a glowing day!

Xo,

Shalyce