It’s Therapy Thursday! Nope, I’m not a therapist, but I’m a huge advocate for going to therapy. I went to my first therapy session 4 or 5 years ago, and I’ve been a believer in it’s value ever since. While I don’t think the goal of therapy is to go forever, I do believe it’s an awesome resource in any season of life.

I currently go to therapy virtually every other Thursday. Being more equipped to manage anxiety and some things that life just brings is important to me, so I’m trying to listen to my body more, process my thoughts and utilize the resources I’ve gained through therapy. I say this all freely and without shame because I feel there should be no shame about sharing our feelings and discovering tools to help us in life. The thing I love most about therapy is working directly with an unbiased professional in an interactive session. I’m grateful for my amazing family and friends and we share the good and bad with each other. However, that doesn’t replace the value of therapist too, and their expertise, insight and skills to help us reflect and refine.

While I’m glad to see that more people share openly their support of therapy, I wish others who were on the fence would realize it’s not a bad or scary thing. Whether life is going amazing, you’re dealing with some challenges or have some trauma to unpack, therapy is meant to meet you wherever you are and to support your individual goals. Those goals could be feeling more whole, overcoming a traumatic situation, or simply gaining tools to become a better you. You have nothing to lose by giving it a try.

In my experiences with therapy, I learned a few things that I didn’t realize going into it, and I wanted share 3 of those things today.

1 — Therapy can be valuable for facing anything that impacts our mental health (big or small)

Some people think you only go to therapy if you’ve lost your mind. False! In my opinion, therapy is for anyone. Life is not perfect, and none of us are perfect. While therapy can be an essential resource if we have fires to put out in our lives, therapy can also be useful before the flames. Preventative methods of therapy are really valuable in my opinion to determine a game plan to avoid past issues you’ve overcome or to gain tools to stay on a certain path in life. Then of course, we’re all familiar with going to therapy as a final cry for help when we’re in the midst of a challenge. It’s nothing wrong with this either — the point is just to get help. Our mental health is so important, and we don’t have to carry it ‘all’ ourselves! You don’t have to wait to until your weighed down to talk through it with a therapist. When you’re able to unload in a safe place, it is a freeing experience. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, childhood trauma, or anything you consider big or small, I bet a good therapy session would be a great first step in managing what you’re facing.

2 — A therapist is not one size fits all

This is one is important! I don’t profess to know all there is about therapy and the types of therapists, but I do know that one size does not fit all. Just because I love my psychologist, and our experience together is awesome, doesn’t mean that my close friend will find value in her approach or strategies. There are so many types of professionals who offer different types of therapy. You have to do your research. It’s important to almost “date around” with therapists in order to find the one who is right for you. To do this, I recommend narrowing down a list of therapists you might be interested in and utilizing any sort of complimentary consultation the therapist offers. Also, the therapist you select doesn’t have to be your therapist forever. You might work with 1 therapist for 1 season in life, and then be able to manage in that area on your own after a period time. Then maybe a year or two later, you might want to return to therapy, but with a different practitioner. That’s totally fine! The only goal is to work with whomever you feel is best for the job and you can be open with. This goes back to my original point — if you don’t vibe with the therapist, pick another one.

3 — Therapy only works if you do

Last but not least, you can’t expect the therapist to be your savior. A therapist is not God, and the therapist can’t do you what you have to do yourself. Let me say that again for the people in the back — a therapist is not God, and the therapist can’t do you what you have to do yourself. Even the best therapist won’t provide with you a list of everything to ‘fix it’. In order for therapy to work, you have to first establish what your goals are for therapy. What do you want to get out of this? What are your concerns or the areas you want to address? Then you have to be willing to be transparent during the sessions. If you’re going to be guarded or not honest, therapy will not work. Again, find a therapist who you vibe with and let that guard down. Lastly, as you work through things during therapy, continue doing your own self work outside of therapy. Therapy is not a genie in the bottle, so what you uncover in your sessions, be sure to continue the work in your daily life. Remember, the goal is not be in therapy for the same thing for 10 years. The goal is to get the support your need and achieve your therapy goals within whatever timeframe is conducive. Just like anything in life, it’s ok to get help, but we have to our part, too. I’m currently myself in the space or practicing what I’m preaching on this one because there are a couple things I need to do from my therapy sessions that I haven’t yet. But hey, acknowledging it is the first step! If you are in the market for a therapist, check out the Therapy for Black Girls Directory below.

If you’re an advocate for therapy too, let me know in the comments. I hope today’s transparency helps further normalize therapy.

Have a glowing day!

Xo,

Shalyce